Sunday, October 31, 2010
Ink the easy way
Finding ink at our local retail stores is really frustrating. They usually don’t have our brother printer ink cartridge in stock when we need to but one. We always hear the same story that they are on order and check back next week. It’s really frustrating to have to keep checking back with them every week to see if my brother printer ink came in their latest delivery. Most of the time it doesn’t and I have to keep waiting. Sometimes they come in the next week and sometimes they don’t. When they don’t, we ask the store employees and what a surprise, all they say is we have to check back the next week to see if they come in. We needed to find a better option than doing this almost every time we needed in for one of our two brother printers. A friend of mine told me she solved her ink searching problem after she visited a website called inkcartridges.com. This is place that makes it easy to order my brother printer ink whenever I need them. They get delivered fast and always at very competitive prices. Their prices are so competitive that we don’t have any reason to go anywhere else when we need ink for one of our printers. This is where anyone can go to get the ink they need quick and fast because of their huge selection and deep stock. Their prices are so competitive that we don’t have any reason to go anywhere else when we need ink for one of our printers. We thanked my friend who told us how to get ink the easy way compared to shopping all over town or checking back at the same stores week after week to see if our ink came in their last stock shipment.
Einstein's Speech
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speech making.
"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times, I'll bet I could give it for you."
Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about antimatter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool.
Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."
"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times, I'll bet I could give it for you."
Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about antimatter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool.
Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."
Company picnics
A friend of mine lives in New York and her son’s birthday is coming up next month. She still don’t know what kind of party she’s having. One of our friends suggested to have a picnic nearby. Since her kids love the outdoors, their planning to hire a company picnics. While I was browsing on the internet, I found this great website for picnic catering ny at this place called mbscaterserve.com.
Their been in the business since 1993 providing great customer service. They offer very competitive prices and excellent people skills. To learn more about picnic catering nj, check out this website and you’ll be happy you did.
Their been in the business since 1993 providing great customer service. They offer very competitive prices and excellent people skills. To learn more about picnic catering nj, check out this website and you’ll be happy you did.
Swimming
You just can't go to a public pool and splash around any more. Everyone's swimming laps now. Some guy jumped in behind me and said, "How long you gonna be using this lane, dude?" "Until my bladder's empty, punk."
Zenni Optical's new website
I told my hubby I need to buy a new pair of eyeglasses. While I was browsing on the internet I found this ZenniOptical $6.95 Rx Glasses and Zenni now has the best tryon: Frame Fit. I can’t wait to tell my hubby about this website. So, Check out Zenni's New Site! and you’ll be happy you did.
Traffic Court
A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court."
He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not run a red light' five hundred times."
He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not run a red light' five hundred times."
Friday, October 22, 2010
Vail ski rentals
My hubby and I are planning to go to Vail this winter. While I was surfing on the I found this great place called Vail ski rentals. They offer very competitive prices and great customer service. I can't wait to tell my hubby about what this website has to offer.
The Speeder
The Pope just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Since he'd never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. The reluctant chauffeur pulled over along the roadside, climbed into the back of the limo, and the Pope took the wheel. The Pope then merged onto the highway and accelerated to over 90 mph to see what the limo could do.
Suddenly, the Pope noticed the blue light of the State Patrol in his side mirror, so he pulled over. The trooper approached the limo, peered in through the windows, then said, "Just a moment please, I need to call in."
The trooper called in and explained to the chief that he had a very important person pulled over for speeding. "How do I handle this, chief?" asked the trooper. "Is it the Governor?" questioned the chief. "No! This guy is even more important!"
"Is it the President?" asked the chief.
"No! Even more important!"
"Well, who the heck is it?" screamed the chief.
"I don't know, sir," replied the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur."
Suddenly, the Pope noticed the blue light of the State Patrol in his side mirror, so he pulled over. The trooper approached the limo, peered in through the windows, then said, "Just a moment please, I need to call in."
The trooper called in and explained to the chief that he had a very important person pulled over for speeding. "How do I handle this, chief?" asked the trooper. "Is it the Governor?" questioned the chief. "No! This guy is even more important!"
"Is it the President?" asked the chief.
"No! Even more important!"
"Well, who the heck is it?" screamed the chief.
"I don't know, sir," replied the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur."
Vaio Z Series
A friend of mine is looking to buy a laptop. She's been to several stores already but she couldn't find what she wanted. While I was browsing on the internet, I found this great place that has a wide variety of Vaio Z Series to choose from. So, check this out and you'll be happy you did.
Pearly Gates
A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"
The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the records, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that it was true.
Saint Peter said, "Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven."
The Lawyer said, "Wait, wait! There's more! Three years ago, I also gave a homeless person a quarter."
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who, after a moment, nodded back to affirm that it was true.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"
Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."
Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"
The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the records, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that it was true.
Saint Peter said, "Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven."
The Lawyer said, "Wait, wait! There's more! Three years ago, I also gave a homeless person a quarter."
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who, after a moment, nodded back to affirm that it was true.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"
Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."
Tramadol
My husband has a back pain for a one month now. We went to the doctor for having check up for his back pain because it's not just ordinary pain that he felt for a month now. I asked the doctor if he can give me a prescription for some pain killer medicine for my husband’s back pain. He told yes and he given me tramadol prescription. After we went to the doctor, then we went home. When we got home I prepared some lunch food for us and my husband and talked about the Tramadol Prescription - US Online Pharmacy. I‘ve been thinking also to look and search on the internet about the tramadol prescription and good thing that I found this great website orderingtramadolonline and I was surprised that I could just Ordering Tramadol Online - US Licensed Online Pharmacy which really helpful for because it is easy and no hassle, I can just pay it with my credit cards and not only that they also offer Discount tramadol - US Pharmacy Online. For me we can save more money and gas because they can deliver to my house and I don’t need to go at the pharmacy just to buy Tramadol Prescription. I would highly recommend this to everyone like my friends and relatives like my in-laws to check this website orderingtramadolonline out for more details. Tramadol is an alternative pain relief option to Tylenol. I would suggest you or anyone you know who orders pain relief drugs to compare what they are getting to what they can offer. Sometimes me or my hubby have a headache or body pain that just won’t go away. There is very comprehensive details and facts about this medicine and is very helpful for people that are considering taking tramadol for pain relief. So, check this out and see how they can help you.
Blind Dog
A blind man was seen waiting at a street corner with his guide dog. After a short wait the dog started leading the blind man across the street against the red light.
First a car comes screeching to a halt inches away from him, but still the dog leads on, then a bicyclist almost wipes them out and curses as he goes by. Finally in the last lane a truck swerves and barely misses them.
After they reach the far corner the blind man reaches in his pocket and pulls out a cookie and offers it to the guide dog. At this point another person who has watched the entire episode interrupts asking why he was rewarding the dog after the dog had endangered his life and almost got him run over by a car, bicycle and truck.
The blind man responded: "I'm not rewarding him, I'm just trying to find out which end is his head so I can kick him in the ass."
First a car comes screeching to a halt inches away from him, but still the dog leads on, then a bicyclist almost wipes them out and curses as he goes by. Finally in the last lane a truck swerves and barely misses them.
After they reach the far corner the blind man reaches in his pocket and pulls out a cookie and offers it to the guide dog. At this point another person who has watched the entire episode interrupts asking why he was rewarding the dog after the dog had endangered his life and almost got him run over by a car, bicycle and truck.
The blind man responded: "I'm not rewarding him, I'm just trying to find out which end is his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Casino review
For me, the more I understand about the differences between games makes it easier to find the best games for me to play and better understand how the games work. While I was browsing on the internet, I found this great website called onlinecasino.org.in. This website has very impressive detailed reviews that include screen shots the specifics on the games found on each respective online casino website. It’s fun for us to play after our daughter goes to bed or is at a friends house playing. To learn more about casino review, check out this website and see how they can help you.
Playing Golf
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all playing golf with their wives.
The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and as she bends over to place her ball a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford to buy any."
The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $50, go and buy yourself some underwear".
Next the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. "Bejesus woman. You've no knickers - why not?"
She replies "I can't afford any on the housekeeping money you give me".
He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $20, go and buy yourself some underwear!".
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she too is naked under it. "Hoots Mon woman! Wht d'ye hae no knickers?"
She too explains, "You don't give me enough housekeeping money to be able to afford any."
The Scot reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency woman, here's a comb, tidy yourself up a bit!"
The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and as she bends over to place her ball a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford to buy any."
The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $50, go and buy yourself some underwear".
Next the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. "Bejesus woman. You've no knickers - why not?"
She replies "I can't afford any on the housekeeping money you give me".
He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $20, go and buy yourself some underwear!".
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she too is naked under it. "Hoots Mon woman! Wht d'ye hae no knickers?"
She too explains, "You don't give me enough housekeeping money to be able to afford any."
The Scot reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency woman, here's a comb, tidy yourself up a bit!"
Video converter
I had a problem with my recent video and my old videos. I want my recent video to move it to my other old videos. I decided to search on the internet about video converter and good thing that I found this great website imtoo.com. On this website they have video converter, video converter for Mac, and also Ipad video converter and not only that they have also tutorial which helpful for everyone especially for newer people like me that new about this video converter.
For me I am really interested to get this software and learn more about the video converter. I would highly recommend this to everyone like my friends and relative to check this website out for the video converter.
For me I am really interested to get this software and learn more about the video converter. I would highly recommend this to everyone like my friends and relative to check this website out for the video converter.
Pinched
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Great toys for boys
My hubby told me recently he wanted to have a remote control flying toy to take to the park and play with on the weekends. He has concerns that to get any remote control flying helicopter or plane would not be an inexpensive purchase. Our nephew is fascinated with planes and helicopters and my hubby also wants to teach him how to fly one. But, he doesn’t want him to learn with a remote control toy that is very expensive. We did some searching and of course had no problem finding remote controlled helicopters that we sometimes a couple of hundred dollars. Finally, we found a great website called thinkrc.com that has very affordable mini radio controlled helicopters that would be perfect for my hubby and our nephew. This website offers high quality remote controlled helicopters at a much lower price. Not only do they guarantee low price, they are committed to 100% Customer Satisfaction Guaranteed. We thought it would be fun for each of them to have one a small remote control helicopter to fly when they go out together. We told our nephew about this website and he got real excited after he visited this website. He said how soon could he get one and start flying his first remote controlled flying helicopter. My hubby admitted he was also real excited to try flying just like our nephew. So shop with ease and confidence at this website. Take a look at what you have been missing in the Newest and Hottest in mini radio controlled helicopter. Their mission is to enhance their online customers shopping experience with their widest selection of remote controlled helicopters, and unbelievable price. So if you or someone you know is looking to find small remote control helicopter, check out this website and see their great selection to choose from.
Profitable Mistake
On his way out of church after mass, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it be right," he asked, "for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?"
"Absolutely not!" replied the pastor, disappointed that Frank would even ask such a question.
"In that case," said the young man, "I wonder if you'd consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July."
"Absolutely not!" replied the pastor, disappointed that Frank would even ask such a question.
"In that case," said the young man, "I wonder if you'd consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July."
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Where to find files
My hubby looks on the internet for computer files for personal and business use. While I am usually using a file search to find music and videos. Recently, we found a website called http://fileknow.com that has made it much easier to find the files we are looking for quick and easy. This rapidshare search method is more effective than any other website we have used. We have suggested it to several of our friends and relatives and they are all in agreement with my hubby and I. This is the first website you should use whenever you are looking for files to use on your computer.
Hair Dryer
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"
"Of course. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"
Join the fun
We have a lot of fun playing games on our computer. There are some games that I like and some games my hubby likes. We found a great website called gamehouse.com that is the best place we know to find games to try out and play. This huge selection of downloadable games makes it easy for either of us to find fun games to enjoy.
Anyone that has fun playing computer games should check out this website before they play again. I’m sure they will find many games they will really like just like my and my hubby do whenever we visit this website.
Anyone that has fun playing computer games should check out this website before they play again. I’m sure they will find many games they will really like just like my and my hubby do whenever we visit this website.
Good Advice
Man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man anxiously says, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man anxiously says, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Best Mexican food around
My hubby said he wants to visit Dallas to visit his cousin and see some of the sites there. We really like the amusement park there and they have some great restaurants too. Of course, my hubby will look for a big and juicy steak to have for dinner one night. The other night I told him I wanted to go to a Dallas Mexican restaurant that a friend told me about. My friend moved from Dallas to Denver recently and suggested I visit a website called mattitos.com to learn more about this very popular Mexican restaurant Dallas that she said has been serving families great food for over fifty years. My hubby’s favorite appetizer is chips and queso, which she said they have the best queso there she has ever had. My hubby told his cousin and they said that we will take both or our families there when we go there to visit next month. Now, I’m not sure if my hubby is looking forward more to seeing his cousin, going to the big amusement park there or trying out the queso at Mattitos that my friend told me about. I’m looking forward to trying their fajitas because my friend said that is her favorite of all the good choices they have to offer. To learn more about Dallas Mexican Restaurant, check out this website and see how they can help you.
Arthritis
A drunk man who smelled like booze sat down on a bench next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'
The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'
The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,' then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry.
I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'
The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'
The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,' then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry.
I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.
Marketing success
My hubby has a marketing degree from a top ten business school, but he graduated in 1993. He said it’s unbelievable how much the marketing industry has changed since then because of the internet. There are totally different marketing approaches that companies use today compared to only ten years ago. My hubby doesn’t have the education or experience to effectively develop a marketing campaign. So, he found a partner that has has well-known success in the internet marketing field. His name is Jesse Willms and he has ways to make sure any business has an effective marketing program and pay-per-click campaign. This PPC marketing approach is just about mandatory these days for businesses that are looking to grow. Jesse Willms is a highly accomplished person that has innovative techniques to assist his clients to drive more business their direction. Not having advice from an expert like him can prevent future customers from getting to the companies like my hubby’s. So if you or someone you know wants to know more about Jesse Willms, check out this website, mediapointds, and see how they can help you.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Payday loans
Do you need money today but your payday isn't until next week? If you find yourself short on cash and in need of financial then this website, goquickcash.com is the right one for you. Some of us just need to get some cash flow to get the bills paid and get by until our finances get better. To learn more about fast cash loans, payday loans online and payday loans online, check out this website and see how they can help you.
Preacher & Children
There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby. The preacher went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church.
Finally, the preacher got up and spoke to the crowd. "Having children is an act of God!" Silence fell upon the congregation. No one dare challenge the thought.
In the back of the room a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said: "Snow and rain are also acts of God, but when we get too much, we wear rubbers!"
Don't you just love little old ladies!
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church.
Finally, the preacher got up and spoke to the crowd. "Having children is an act of God!" Silence fell upon the congregation. No one dare challenge the thought.
In the back of the room a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said: "Snow and rain are also acts of God, but when we get too much, we wear rubbers!"
Don't you just love little old ladies!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
USA online casino
Before learning about the different types of USA online casino I just played and never really thought about which type of games to play. For me, the more I understand about the differences between games makes it easier to find the best games for me to play and better understand how the games work. While I was surfing on the internet, I found this great website called usaplayerswelcome.com. I never realized how much more I had to learn about online casino games until I visited this website. Now, armed with this extra online games knowledge, I understand and enjoy my games a lot more than I did before.
Valentine Card
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing ''Love'' stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
''I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
''But why?'' asks the man.
''I'm a divorce lawyer."
''I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
''But why?'' asks the man.
''I'm a divorce lawyer."
TerraTrike Rover

I have told my hubby that I really want to learn how to ride a bike. He said it’s much harder than it looks and he is not sure if I will like having to learn the hard way. We started looking for bikes on the internet and found the perfect solution for me. There is a website called terratrike.com that has adult sized 3 wheel bikes, one that is called a TerraTrike Rover. We saw a model called the Recumbent Trike that would be perfect for me. Being able to ride a 3-wheel trike will be much more safe and fun for me than a regular bike that I was very nervous to ride for the first time.
First Hot Dog
Two scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
The mother superior is first to open hers. Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
The mother superior is first to open hers. Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Gas Logs
I asked my hubby why we don’t use our gas fireplace anymore. He said it’s because the old original gas logs should be replaced before we use the fireplace again. We have never had to buy them before, so we didn’t know the best place to go to buy what we needed. Luckily, we found a great website called hansenwholesale.com that had exactly what we needed. This is where we found R. H. Peterson Real Fyre Gas Logs that look a lot better than what came with the fireplace from the manufacturer.
They have Vented Gas Logs and Ventless Gas Logs that can be used in most gas fireplaces. This website saved us time looking around town for what we wanted and their wide selection made it easy to find what we were looking for.
They have Vented Gas Logs and Ventless Gas Logs that can be used in most gas fireplaces. This website saved us time looking around town for what we wanted and their wide selection made it easy to find what we were looking for.
Friar Florists
Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.
He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go ask the friars to get out of business. They ignored her. So, the rival florist hired HUGH Mac Taggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop. Terrified, the friars did so.
The Moral of the Story: Wait for it....
Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars !!
He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go ask the friars to get out of business. They ignored her. So, the rival florist hired HUGH Mac Taggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop. Terrified, the friars did so.
The Moral of the Story: Wait for it....
Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars !!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Avon Calling
An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy.
Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face. "Holy cow! What's that smell?"
"I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"
"Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face. "Holy cow! What's that smell?"
"I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"
"Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
Friday, October 8, 2010
Custom essay
My cousin is attending college and is having a challenging time writing good papers that give her a good grade from her professors. I suggested she find some help before it’s too late and her grades really suffer. She said how hard she tries to write good papers, but she is just having a hard time knowing how to get better grades for her efforts. A classmate of hers told her about a place she can go to get a custom essay that would be a good option for her to consider as a solution to her essay problem. After talking to some of her other classmates, she found out this is getting to be a popular option for a lot of students these days. Having a custom essay company as a partner to help with a writing class is becoming more popular with high school and college students. When a student has a challenge with one class, it can affect how well they do in all of their classes. So, if you know anyone that needs help with an custom essay, then tell them about this place to get the help they want and need and you’ll be happy you did.
New Mercedes Owner
A new Mercedes owner was out on an interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There ain't no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him.
"What in the world am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull-over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go!"
"Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There ain't no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him.
"What in the world am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull-over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go!"
"Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Make the move easy
We had to move earlier this year and didn’t have much time to plan the way we wanted to. Luckily, we found some great moving guide at a place on the internet called blog.movebuilder.com. This was a good place to start planning our move and to make sure we didn’t overlook anything important. We had so much going on at the time that having some guidelines and reminders of what we needed to get done to make our move easy. We would suggest this website to anyone that is moving because the information is so complete and helpful.
Parking in New York
A gentleman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the gentleman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the gentleman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The gentleman replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the gentleman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the gentleman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The gentleman replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"
Wholesale nursing uniforms
A friend of mine is looking to buy soft cotton scrubs. She’s been to several stores already but couldn’t find what she wanted. While I was surfing on the internet, I found this great website called blueskyscrubs.com. They have a wide selection of wholesale nursing uniforms to choose from.
They offer very competitive prices for great quality products. Their been in the business for years providing unique scrubs. I can’t wait to tell my friend about what this website has to offer. So if you or someone you know is looking to buy wholesale nursing uniforms, check this website and you’ll be happy you did.
They offer very competitive prices for great quality products. Their been in the business for years providing unique scrubs. I can’t wait to tell my friend about what this website has to offer. So if you or someone you know is looking to buy wholesale nursing uniforms, check this website and you’ll be happy you did.
The Reverend John Fuzz
The Reverend John Fuzz was a pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day, walking down Main St., he noticed a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer.
The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do. He walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman.
"Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Sure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When Mrs. Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realized that she had had too much to drink grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up laying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The bartender looked over the bar and said, "Here, here buddy, we won't have any of that carrying around in this bar!"
The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fuzz."
The bartender nodded and said, "Hell then, if you're that far in, you might as well finish up."
The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do. He walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman.
"Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Sure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When Mrs. Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realized that she had had too much to drink grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up laying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The bartender looked over the bar and said, "Here, here buddy, we won't have any of that carrying around in this bar!"
The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fuzz."
The bartender nodded and said, "Hell then, if you're that far in, you might as well finish up."
Sunday, October 3, 2010
How to collect free water
My hubby has a cousin, Billy, that owns a big ranch in west Texas. Billy said he was having some problems getting water to certain parts of his ranch for his livestock. My hubby suggested he visit a website called simplyrainbarrels.com. This is where he can buy rain barrels to put around different parts of his property.
Then, after it rains, the rain water barrels will collect water at many different places on his ranch. This idea of rain harvesting was a good solution to his water problem. He said there were some rain barrels for sale on this website he found that was perfect for his water collecting needs.
Then, after it rains, the rain water barrels will collect water at many different places on his ranch. This idea of rain harvesting was a good solution to his water problem. He said there were some rain barrels for sale on this website he found that was perfect for his water collecting needs.
Wheelbarrow
The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the young guy replied.
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then he turned to the young man and said, "All right. Get in."
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the young guy replied.
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then he turned to the young man and said, "All right. Get in."
Cats
I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
Cheap car insurance
Overpaying for insurance can really add up over time. While I was surfing on the internet, I found this great place for cheap car insurance. This is a great place for people that want to compare cheap insurance rates. And with the recession have been in for almost two years, finding different ways to save money is very important for our family.
The Subway
The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, "Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!"
"I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay check in my pocket."
"Oh really" she spat."then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour."
"I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay check in my pocket."
"Oh really" she spat."then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour."
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