Thursday, July 29, 2010
Latest Medicine Info
My hubby has a brother-in-law, Brian, that is a doctor and he uses as many natural remedies as he can when he consults with his patients. There is a lot of information to absorb on this subject and having a very reliable and good source is very helpful for him. He uses a website called natmedtalk.com to keep up on the latest natural medicine talks and other important related topics. It’s very interesting to hear about the side effects of many well accepted synthetic and other medicines after talking to Brian. This is why he likes to use natural options as forms or treatment for his patients and family. He says this website makes sure he is up to date on the latest and best natural remedies and trusts the information he reads there. Many of his colleagues use the same website and agree it’s a very good and reliable source for natural medicine.
The source for NC real estate
A friend of mine is moving to North Carolina and told me she found a great website called coastalcarolinaproperties.com. This website is where they found the house they bought and are moving into next month. She said this is the best place she found for Wilmington NC Real Estate, Search Entire MLS Online anywhere on the internet.
Missing Bike
There were two ministers who met each Sunday morning riding to their particular church. They both enjoyed riding the bikes and talking. Then one Sunday one of the ministers was walking. "My what happened to your bike?"
"Can you believe that someone in my congregation stole it?"
"NO!," then an idea struck him, " You want to know how to get your bike back?"
"Yeah."
"Next Sunday give a fire and brimstone sermon on the Ten Commandments and when you get to the part about Thout shall not steal, just look out into the congregation and see who looks guilty."
Well the next Sunday the minister comes riding up on his bike.
"Hey I see my suggestion worked."
"Well sort of, I was going along real good on the Ten Commandments and when I got to the part about Adultery I remembered where I left the bike."
"Can you believe that someone in my congregation stole it?"
"NO!," then an idea struck him, " You want to know how to get your bike back?"
"Yeah."
"Next Sunday give a fire and brimstone sermon on the Ten Commandments and when you get to the part about Thout shall not steal, just look out into the congregation and see who looks guilty."
Well the next Sunday the minister comes riding up on his bike.
"Hey I see my suggestion worked."
"Well sort of, I was going along real good on the Ten Commandments and when I got to the part about Adultery I remembered where I left the bike."
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Expert debt solutions
I have a friend who told me her husband got laid off several months ago. They quickly fell behind on their bills and need some expert help. I told her about a website called repairyourbadcredit.com that helped us out last year when we were in a similar situation. They offer credit repair services and DSI solutions needed to solve their problem.
They really want to get a better handle on their bills and look to improve credit once they both start working again and have consistent income again. This website can help them will all of their debt and credit repair concerns. I would suggest this site for anyone that needs help like this with the finances.
They really want to get a better handle on their bills and look to improve credit once they both start working again and have consistent income again. This website can help them will all of their debt and credit repair concerns. I would suggest this site for anyone that needs help like this with the finances.
A Really Bad Day
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute. Listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels-the phone is still ringing.
When I came up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it and half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still ringing with no let up and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife -- she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. And Mister, I TOLD HER!"
Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute. Listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels-the phone is still ringing.
When I came up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it and half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still ringing with no let up and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife -- she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. And Mister, I TOLD HER!"
Easy Summer Living While Watching "The Cosby Show"
Easy Summer Living While Watching "The Cosby Show"
Guest post of the week by Ferdinand Livingston
One of my favorite ways to spend my summer nights is to watch old reruns on my hd satellite tv. While there are lots of great shows from the past, my favorite was and still is "The Cosby Show". A huge hit in the 1980's, "The Cosby Show" endeared itself to a number of different viewers and brings back great memories of when I was child and watching it with my own parents.
The Cosby Show centers in on a lovable couple "Clair" and "Cliff" and their trials and times of raising their five children. With five kids in all different ages from a college student to elementary school age, the episodes cover a number of different situations in life. I think what made the show such a hit was the variety of characters. "Clair" is the strong center of the house and the disciplinarian whereas "Cliff" was the lovable but firm dad. Most of my friends would agree they wish they had had parents as "cool" as them.
While the show covered a number of different subjects including drugs and drinking, it was done in a way that was lighthearted and always funny. It was one of the few shows that family members of all ages could sit down and watch together without having to worry about flipping the channel because of something offensive. With kids of my own now, I wish there were more shows like "The Cosby Show" in today's age.
I Really Need to Find a Job
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.
So then I got a job in a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.
So then I got a job in a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Any move needs supplies
My brother has to move his family out of state in a couple of weeks and has a lot of packing to do in a short time period. I told him he needs to visit a website we used when we moved last year to get all of our discount moving supplies we needed for our move. This website, upack.com, has such a long list of any items anyone needs to move that is really saves time getting those supplies all at the same place. It was good for us because we found items we used to protect our furniture and other belongings that we wouldn’t have thought about otherwise. Moving is challenging enough, but not having the necessary moving supplies to efficiently and safely pack all of the items that need to be packed, loaded, unloaded and unpacked. Their comprehensive list of moving supplies makes it real easy to plan ahead in respect to all the supplies needed to pack everything quickly and in a safe manner so they don’t get damaged during the move. I suggest this website to anyone I hear that is moving because I know this site will make their move much easier.
A Petty Thief, a Teacher and a Lawyer
A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to heaven.
When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who then says, "Sorry, heaven's crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in."
He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?" "Oh, that's easy," the teacher replied, "the Titanic." So St. Peter let her into heaven.
Next he turned to the petty thief. "How many people died on that ship?" St. Peter asked. "Oooh, that's tough, but I saw the movie, and it was 1, 500." St. Peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven.
Finally, St. Peter turned to the lawyer. He simply said to him: "Name them."
When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who then says, "Sorry, heaven's crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in."
He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?" "Oh, that's easy," the teacher replied, "the Titanic." So St. Peter let her into heaven.
Next he turned to the petty thief. "How many people died on that ship?" St. Peter asked. "Oooh, that's tough, but I saw the movie, and it was 1, 500." St. Peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven.
Finally, St. Peter turned to the lawyer. He simply said to him: "Name them."
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Golf packages in Myrtle Beach
My hubby and his Dad loves to play golf. Their planning a trip this summer to play golf at a nice resort. He ask me if I can help him find good golf packages in Myrtle Beach. I heard that South Carolina is known for resorts for golf in Myrtle Beach. They offer very competitive prices and great customer service.
I can’t wait to tell my hubby about it. So if you or someone you know is looking to find some good deals on golf resorts, check out this website, http://www.ttimesonly.com/ and see how they can help you.
I can’t wait to tell my hubby about it. So if you or someone you know is looking to find some good deals on golf resorts, check out this website, http://www.ttimesonly.com/ and see how they can help you.
Speeding Blonde
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde, the works.
"I've pulled you over for speeding, Miss... Could I see your driver's license?"
"What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.
"It's usually in your wallet" replied the officer.
After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.
"Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop.
"Registration... What's that?" asked the blonde.
"It's usually in your glove compartment..." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.
"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration.
After a few moments, the dispatcher came back; "Is this woman driving a red sports car?"
"Yes...." replied the officer
"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher
"Yes" replied the cop.
"Here's what you have to do..." Said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants."
"What? I can't do that. It's inappropriate!" exclaimed the cop.
"Trust me... Just do it..." said the dispatcher.
So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.
The blonde looks down and sighs "Oh no... Not ANOTHER breathalyzer!"
"I've pulled you over for speeding, Miss... Could I see your driver's license?"
"What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.
"It's usually in your wallet" replied the officer.
After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.
"Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop.
"Registration... What's that?" asked the blonde.
"It's usually in your glove compartment..." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.
"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration.
After a few moments, the dispatcher came back; "Is this woman driving a red sports car?"
"Yes...." replied the officer
"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher
"Yes" replied the cop.
"Here's what you have to do..." Said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants."
"What? I can't do that. It's inappropriate!" exclaimed the cop.
"Trust me... Just do it..." said the dispatcher.
So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.
The blonde looks down and sighs "Oh no... Not ANOTHER breathalyzer!"
Tee times
Are you or someone you know is looking to reserve some tee times this summer? Then visit this website called www.48hourteetimes.com. This website, 48 hour tee times, offers great value for your money. Enjoy special golf deals and last-minute tee times at many of your favorite golf courses in Myrtle beach. Their goal is to make your golf experience a memorable and pleasant one.
They provide discount tee times to hundreds of courses in Myrtle beach, in addition to offering stay and play packages to your favorite golf destinations. Since my hubby loves to play golf, I can’t wait to tell my him about this website. So, check this out and see how they can help you.
They provide discount tee times to hundreds of courses in Myrtle beach, in addition to offering stay and play packages to your favorite golf destinations. Since my hubby loves to play golf, I can’t wait to tell my him about this website. So, check this out and see how they can help you.
Getting On The Bus
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't! So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.
About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"
At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't! So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.
About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"
At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Help with hosting
My friend asked me how I found the best web hosting services that I use and I told her I use a website called webhostingrating.com. This is where I find ratings and reviews for the top web hosting services that I need to find the best one depending on what I’m going to use the website for or the person I’m helping get setup with their website.
Anyone looking for a web hosting service for personal or business use should check out this website to see how valuable the information and reviews are for their readers. I have always found the information to be reliable and very accurate. That is why this is the only website I need to find the best web hosting services for me.
Anyone looking for a web hosting service for personal or business use should check out this website to see how valuable the information and reviews are for their readers. I have always found the information to be reliable and very accurate. That is why this is the only website I need to find the best web hosting services for me.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Clean carpet in Spokane
I have a friend who lives in Spokane and is having a big party next weekend. She needed to get her carpets cleaned by a reliable professional carpet cleaner. She told me about a website called zerorezspokane.com where she found what she needed. This is where she found a very experienced spokane carpet cleaning service that did a great job before her big party at a very reasonable price.
The Buttons
One day, George bush travels to Afghanistan to attempt peace talks with Osama bin Laden.
The two sit down to talk, and George asks him if peace was possible, then Osama bin Laden pushed a button, and a fist on a spring came out of the wall, and punched George in the face. George then asked if there was any way to settle their differences, and Osama pushed another button, and the fist hit George in the nuts. George then asked to reschedule the talks in Washington, Osama agreed, and pushed another button that ejected George out of his seat.
The two sat down in the oval office in Washington D.C. to continue their talks. Osama claimed that filthy Americans were trying to take over the world, and George pressed a button and nothing happens. Osama than says, "Very funny, you think you are smarter than me!", George pushes another button and still nothing happens. Osama finished by stating no American is safe, and George pushed a third button, but once again, nothing happened. Osama then said, "Enough of this nonsense, I need to go back to Afghanistan,"
George Bush simply replied, "What Afghanistan?"
The two sit down to talk, and George asks him if peace was possible, then Osama bin Laden pushed a button, and a fist on a spring came out of the wall, and punched George in the face. George then asked if there was any way to settle their differences, and Osama pushed another button, and the fist hit George in the nuts. George then asked to reschedule the talks in Washington, Osama agreed, and pushed another button that ejected George out of his seat.
The two sat down in the oval office in Washington D.C. to continue their talks. Osama claimed that filthy Americans were trying to take over the world, and George pressed a button and nothing happens. Osama than says, "Very funny, you think you are smarter than me!", George pushes another button and still nothing happens. Osama finished by stating no American is safe, and George pushed a third button, but once again, nothing happened. Osama then said, "Enough of this nonsense, I need to go back to Afghanistan,"
George Bush simply replied, "What Afghanistan?"
The car connection
If you choose to buy a new car online through thecarconnection.com, a vehicle specialist will help you through the entire car buying process. My hubby is a major car enthusiast and loves to read about different makes and models. He uses a website called thecarconnection to look for specific info he is looking for. We’re planning to buy a brand new car so we’ve been looking for a nice car like Subaru impreza, BMW m3, smart fortwo, Toyota highlander either of this cars would be great for us. This website has many different kinds of brand new cars and not only that they also have nice used cars which affordable for us to buy. The type of car like BMW is really a nice one to me. The type of luxury car is the Toyota highlander is also nice because it is popular to everyone and it’s a good type of brand when you say Toyota. They gives shoppers all the tools needed to make an informed buying decision, including vehicle reviews, ratings, safety features and specifications. Their the leading multi-brand online car buying service, providing new and pre-owned automobiles and related products and services. This website gives us the info of want to compare all the different features and options of different cars and other vehicles. I would highly recommend to everyone to check this website out thecarconnection, and see if you like them as much as we do.
Engineering Hell
An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says: "Ah, you're an engineer, but you worked for a high-tech startup company and got rich. You've had too good of a life, so now you can't come in here."
So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer is dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are all upgraded and there are speaker wires running to every room. Even the clocks on the VCRs are set. The engineer becomes a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls up Satan on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are faster than ever and we've got music in every room. There's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake, he should never have gotten down there! Send him back up here, now."
Satan shouts back, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right... and just where are YOU going to find a lawyer?"
So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer is dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are all upgraded and there are speaker wires running to every room. Even the clocks on the VCRs are set. The engineer becomes a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls up Satan on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are faster than ever and we've got music in every room. There's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake, he should never have gotten down there! Send him back up here, now."
Satan shouts back, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right... and just where are YOU going to find a lawyer?"
Where to get stylish spoilers
My hubby has a Grand Prix and wanted to upgrade the boring stock spoiler that came as original equipment on the rear of the car. So, I found him a great website called carid.com that had exactly what he wanted at a very low price. He was very impressed with the look and style of their spoiler compared to the stock spoiler. He said their price was less than half the price of other spoilers he found on the internet. I was so happy I was able to find him a great place to get a new spoiler to give his Grand Prix a more sporty and unique look. They provide the superior parts and accessories that you need to make your car look good and go fast. Finding the perfect auto accessory can be tricky, so carid, is pleased to offer the best selling, best performing car accessories online. They provide you with the lowest prices in the auto accessories industry and the quickest ship times. They have a wide selection of spoilers to choose from. Their selection of spoilers is from Acura, Audi, BMW, Buick, Cadillac, Chevy, Chrysler,Dodge, Ford, GMC and a lot more.Anyone looking for a new or upgraded spoiler should visit this website to see why my hubby was so impressed with what they have to offer.
Late-Night Jokes About Global Warming
"According to a survey in this week’s Time magazine, 85% of Americans think global warming is happening. The other 15% work for the White House." –Jay Leno
"Al Gore has a hit movie called ‘An Inconvenient Truth.’ I have an inconvenient truth for him: you’re still not the president. … This past weekend, Al Gore’s movie, ‘An Inconvenient Truth,’ earned more per screen than any film in the country. … I dare say Gore’s movie is the highest grossing PowerPoint presentation in history. … Global warming: Can we live with it? … It is time we did something, namely resign ourselves to doing nothing [on screen: Follow Congress' Lead]. … For instance, when sea levels rise, we’ll just build levees [on screen: Worked for New Orleans]" –Stephen Colbert
"Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice." –David Letterman
"Former Vice President Al Gore starring in a new documentary about global warming. I believe it’s called [Leno snores]. … The film actually features Al Gore and explores his journey on how he first got interested in temperature change. It started back when he was vice president. He noticed how the temperature would change, like whenever Bill would walk into the room, it would get warm and whenever Hillary walked into the room, it got cold." –Jay Leno
"President Bush said global warming is happening much quicker than he thought, and then his staff pulled him aside and said ‘It’s just springtime.’" –Jay Leno
"Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And today, Al Gore agreed with him. That’s so typical. Two cyborgs, ‘Oh, let’s blame the humans.’" –Jay Leno
"Al Gore is coming out with a movie about global warming called ‘An Inconvenient Truth.’ It’s described as a detailed scientific view of global warming. President Bush said he just saw a film about global warming, ‘Ice Age 2; The Meltdown.’ He said, ‘It’s so much better than that boring Al Gore movie.’" –Jay Leno
"Don’t kid yourself. Global warming is no joke. Here’s how serious global warming has gotten to be in the United States. In this country global warming is so bad, we are now actually starting to warm up to Barry Bonds." –David Letterman
"According to Time magazine, global warming is 33% worse than we thought. You know what that means? Al Gore is one-third more annoying than we thought." –Jay Leno
"Al Gore has a hit movie called ‘An Inconvenient Truth.’ I have an inconvenient truth for him: you’re still not the president. … This past weekend, Al Gore’s movie, ‘An Inconvenient Truth,’ earned more per screen than any film in the country. … I dare say Gore’s movie is the highest grossing PowerPoint presentation in history. … Global warming: Can we live with it? … It is time we did something, namely resign ourselves to doing nothing [on screen: Follow Congress' Lead]. … For instance, when sea levels rise, we’ll just build levees [on screen: Worked for New Orleans]" –Stephen Colbert
"Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice." –David Letterman
"Former Vice President Al Gore starring in a new documentary about global warming. I believe it’s called [Leno snores]. … The film actually features Al Gore and explores his journey on how he first got interested in temperature change. It started back when he was vice president. He noticed how the temperature would change, like whenever Bill would walk into the room, it would get warm and whenever Hillary walked into the room, it got cold." –Jay Leno
"President Bush said global warming is happening much quicker than he thought, and then his staff pulled him aside and said ‘It’s just springtime.’" –Jay Leno
"Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And today, Al Gore agreed with him. That’s so typical. Two cyborgs, ‘Oh, let’s blame the humans.’" –Jay Leno
"Al Gore is coming out with a movie about global warming called ‘An Inconvenient Truth.’ It’s described as a detailed scientific view of global warming. President Bush said he just saw a film about global warming, ‘Ice Age 2; The Meltdown.’ He said, ‘It’s so much better than that boring Al Gore movie.’" –Jay Leno
"Don’t kid yourself. Global warming is no joke. Here’s how serious global warming has gotten to be in the United States. In this country global warming is so bad, we are now actually starting to warm up to Barry Bonds." –David Letterman
"According to Time magazine, global warming is 33% worse than we thought. You know what that means? Al Gore is one-third more annoying than we thought." –Jay Leno
Monday, July 19, 2010
Free online pokies
My hubby likes to play online pokies and tells his friends, co-workers and relatives after e wins a nice jackpot. Last month, I started to play at online pokies and started having fun right away. It feels just like playing in a casino to me once I get on a roll and start winning. For me, playing free online pokies is real fun to play at home because I can yell and shout when I win a jackpot and not feel embarrassed because people are watching me celebrate.
My hubby have fun on the weekend and we play free pokies at the same time on our computers and play like we have our own little casino. We have done really well the last week and have won quite a bit. Some of my friends have played and won some nice amounts too.
My hubby have fun on the weekend and we play free pokies at the same time on our computers and play like we have our own little casino. We have done really well the last week and have won quite a bit. Some of my friends have played and won some nice amounts too.
Fast Pope
The Pope arrives at JFK and he's met at a baggage claim by a driver in a bad suit and a clip-on tie, holding a hand-lettered sign that says, "Pope."
After getting all the Pope's luggage loaded in the limo-and His Holiness doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
"Hey, Mr. Pope," says the driver in accented English, "Why have you not seated yourself in the excellent limo?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive."
"That is very much against the rules!" protested the driver, wishing he'd never left Calcutta.
"There might be something extra in it for you," said the Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver got in the back as the Pope got in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regretted his decision when, after clearing the airport, the Pope accelerated the limo to 105 mph.
"Please be driving not so rapidly, Mr. Pope," pleaded the worried driver, but the Pope kept the pedal to the metal. Then they heard the siren.
"Oh, my Gods, now I am surely losing my license," moaned the driver.
The Pope pulled over and rolled down the window as the patrolman approached, but the cop took one look at him, went back to his motorcycle, and got on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he said to the dispatch.
When the Chief got on the radio, the cop told him that he'd stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," said the Chief.
"I think the guy's a big shot," said the cop.
"All the more reason."
"No, I mean really a big shot," said the cop.
"What'd ya got there, the Mayor?"
"Bigger."
"Governor."
"Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
"I don't know," said the cop. "But he's got the Pope driving for him."
After getting all the Pope's luggage loaded in the limo-and His Holiness doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
"Hey, Mr. Pope," says the driver in accented English, "Why have you not seated yourself in the excellent limo?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive."
"That is very much against the rules!" protested the driver, wishing he'd never left Calcutta.
"There might be something extra in it for you," said the Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver got in the back as the Pope got in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regretted his decision when, after clearing the airport, the Pope accelerated the limo to 105 mph.
"Please be driving not so rapidly, Mr. Pope," pleaded the worried driver, but the Pope kept the pedal to the metal. Then they heard the siren.
"Oh, my Gods, now I am surely losing my license," moaned the driver.
The Pope pulled over and rolled down the window as the patrolman approached, but the cop took one look at him, went back to his motorcycle, and got on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he said to the dispatch.
When the Chief got on the radio, the cop told him that he'd stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," said the Chief.
"I think the guy's a big shot," said the cop.
"All the more reason."
"No, I mean really a big shot," said the cop.
"What'd ya got there, the Mayor?"
"Bigger."
"Governor."
"Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
"I don't know," said the cop. "But he's got the Pope driving for him."
Feel secure at home
We live in a good area of town, but there has been some break-ins and burglaries not far from us. So, my hubby thought it would be a good idea to get a security system for our home. There are a lot of options for these types of systems and an endless amount of information to read and absorb. Turning to someone for tips about the key features for residential security systems was a real time-saver for us. This is where we learned about the pros and cons with different types of systems. Then we can compare these features to our needs for the security system we need. Learning about the different types of installation options for these systems we very helpful for us too.
Understanding the key features for these systems and how the installation is done will make it easier to narrow down our options to the best system for function and value for our home. There are many reasons why people are increasingly using security systems to protect their homes and businesses. One of the main reasons is the improvement in technology that has drastically lowered the overall installation costs for quality systems that use at least one security camera as part of the design. Anyone that wants to upgrade an older security system or add a new one should look into how affordable the systems are to install these days. So, check this website and see how they can help you.
Understanding the key features for these systems and how the installation is done will make it easier to narrow down our options to the best system for function and value for our home. There are many reasons why people are increasingly using security systems to protect their homes and businesses. One of the main reasons is the improvement in technology that has drastically lowered the overall installation costs for quality systems that use at least one security camera as part of the design. Anyone that wants to upgrade an older security system or add a new one should look into how affordable the systems are to install these days. So, check this website and see how they can help you.
The Cloth In A Bar
A priest, a father, and a rabbi are walking home from their respective services when they pass a bar.
The priest says, "I wish we could all go in and have a drink tonight." To this the father says, "let me try something I'll be right back."
So the father goes into the bar, sits down and orders a drink. When the bartender comes over to get paid the father says, "my son, I have already paid you for my drink.", to which the bartender replies, "I'm sorry father, it must've slipped my mind." "It's alright my son. You have a good night", the father says and leaves.
He goes outside to tell the priest and the rabbi what to do.
The priest goes in and comes out successful, so the rabbi goes in.He orders and when it comes time to pay he says to the bartender, "listen sonny I have already paid for my drinks tonight". Now the bartender replies, "I'm sorry rabbi, you're the third man of the cloth to come in here tonight I must be slipping!", to this the rabbi replies, "that's ok sonny, but can I have the change from my fifty."
The priest says, "I wish we could all go in and have a drink tonight." To this the father says, "let me try something I'll be right back."
So the father goes into the bar, sits down and orders a drink. When the bartender comes over to get paid the father says, "my son, I have already paid you for my drink.", to which the bartender replies, "I'm sorry father, it must've slipped my mind." "It's alright my son. You have a good night", the father says and leaves.
He goes outside to tell the priest and the rabbi what to do.
The priest goes in and comes out successful, so the rabbi goes in.He orders and when it comes time to pay he says to the bartender, "listen sonny I have already paid for my drinks tonight". Now the bartender replies, "I'm sorry rabbi, you're the third man of the cloth to come in here tonight I must be slipping!", to this the rabbi replies, "that's ok sonny, but can I have the change from my fifty."
Local moving quotes
A friend of mine is planning to move to another county. She’s looking for local movers to help her move her stuff. But before she hire them, she need to get some moving estimates or local moving quotes. While I was browsing on the internet, I found this website called movers.com.
This website offers very competitive prices and great customer service. They help you find local moving to help you with your things. They offer free local moving quotes and reliable local movers. So if you or someone you know is planning to move, check out this website and see how they can help you relocate.
This website offers very competitive prices and great customer service. They help you find local moving to help you with your things. They offer free local moving quotes and reliable local movers. So if you or someone you know is planning to move, check out this website and see how they can help you relocate.
Saving It
A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and came upon a young boy who was masturbating.
"My son, you shouldn't be doing that," said the priest. "You should be saving that for when you get married."
The embarrassed boy hung his head down low and simply said, "Yes, Father."
About 10 years later, the priest was in his study when a young man in his early twenties came in.
"Yes, my son?" said the priest.
"Father, you may not remember me, but about 10 years ago you caught me masturbating in an alley, and I'll never forget the advice you gave then."
"And what was that, my son?"
"Well, you told me that what I was doing was wrong and I should be saving it for when I get married," said the young man.
"That sounds like something I probably would have said," said the priest. "Did you take my advice?"
"Yes I did, Father, but there's only one problem."
"What's that, my son?"
"Well, I have a 55-gallon drum of the stuff in the back of my pickup truck. Now that I am getting married, what am I supposed to do with it?"
"My son, you shouldn't be doing that," said the priest. "You should be saving that for when you get married."
The embarrassed boy hung his head down low and simply said, "Yes, Father."
About 10 years later, the priest was in his study when a young man in his early twenties came in.
"Yes, my son?" said the priest.
"Father, you may not remember me, but about 10 years ago you caught me masturbating in an alley, and I'll never forget the advice you gave then."
"And what was that, my son?"
"Well, you told me that what I was doing was wrong and I should be saving it for when I get married," said the young man.
"That sounds like something I probably would have said," said the priest. "Did you take my advice?"
"Yes I did, Father, but there's only one problem."
"What's that, my son?"
"Well, I have a 55-gallon drum of the stuff in the back of my pickup truck. Now that I am getting married, what am I supposed to do with it?"
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Structured cabling contractor
My mother in-law was calling me yesterday and she said that she needs my help about structured cabling contractor because one of her restobar’s cable was broken. so I decided to look up and searched on the internet about the structured cabling contractor and good thing that I found this great website called mason247.com.
They have guides about the structured cabling contractor and not even that, they also have services for the cabling contractor. This website helps a lot for everybody especially for the newer people. I would highly recommend this to my mother in-law and to my other friends to check out this website for more details.
They have guides about the structured cabling contractor and not even that, they also have services for the cabling contractor. This website helps a lot for everybody especially for the newer people. I would highly recommend this to my mother in-law and to my other friends to check out this website for more details.
Let's Get Married
A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.
On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pant legs to keep his trousers dry.
When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. "Pull down your pants, whispered the pastor.
"Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I would prefer the traditional service."
On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pant legs to keep his trousers dry.
When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. "Pull down your pants, whispered the pastor.
"Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I would prefer the traditional service."
Solutions for debt problems
A friend of mine is having a hard time paying her bills because she was laid off from her job a couple of months ago. She just started a new job, but is so far behind that she needs to find someone that can find Debt Relief to fix her problem.
I told her about a website called uniteddebtcounseling.com that we used after my hubby lost his job last year. They can provide Debt Settlement and Debt Negotiation for their clients depending on their circumstances are and what is the best solution for their situation. So check this out and see how they can help you.
I told her about a website called uniteddebtcounseling.com that we used after my hubby lost his job last year. They can provide Debt Settlement and Debt Negotiation for their clients depending on their circumstances are and what is the best solution for their situation. So check this out and see how they can help you.
One tough secret
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right.
The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing."
God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him?"
God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"
The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing."
God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him?"
God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Great time for fun in Europe
We have been wanting to visit the european holiday parks for a long time. Finally, we are making plans to visit Europe later this year. The prices for airfare, hotels and for these great parks to visit are really affordable compared to just a couple of years ago. We found a website called hoseasons.co.uk that really helped us find the best places to visit. Knowing where we wanted to go well ahead of time made it easier to plan our trip day to day. They have park listing for the most popular counties to visit in Europe such as: Switzerland, Holland, Germany, Belgium and Austria. The countries on our list to visit are all on this list, so it really saved us a lot of time by finding all the parks we wanted to visit in different countries all on one website. I can’t imagine how long it would have taken looking for these parks otherwise. Anyone planning to visit Europe should visit this website to sell all the parks nearest to where they will be during their stay. Anyone can find parks they want to visit in any of these countries that will make their stay more enjoyable and memorable. After using this website, we are even more excited about our trip to Europe since we have several great parks we are planning to visit.
Going Out
A couple were going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver:"He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long" he says. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the back yard! She better not shit in the vegetable garden again either!"
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver:"He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long" he says. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the back yard! She better not shit in the vegetable garden again either!"
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Where to get moving supplies
Our neighbor was moving recently and really needed to get some moving supplies quick and easy. I told them about a website called upack.com that has everything anyone needs when it comes to moving supplies. They have dish pack boxes and other items she needed to make sure she was able to pack everything properly to protect them during the moving process. I would suggest this website for anyone planning to move before they go anywhere else for moving supplies. So if you or someone you know is planning to move, check out this website before you go anywhere else for moving supplies.
Not Talking to Each Other
A couple returned from their honeymoon and it's obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what is wrong.
"Well," replied the man, "When we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"
The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over this though. She gave me $20 change!"
"Well," replied the man, "When we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"
The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over this though. She gave me $20 change!"
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Hansen Wholesale Ceiling Fans
Are you or someone you know is looking to buy a ceiling fan? Then visit this website called hansenwholesale.com. There have the top manufacturers available including Hunter Ceiling Fans, Emerson Ceiling Fans, Casablanca Ceiling Fans and many other to choose from. So, if you or anyone you know is looking for competitive prices for top quality ceiling fans, this site is the place to go.
Their selection of Ceiling Fans is the best we found anywhere and the prices for the quality they offer can't be beat. The only place you will have to go to find your next ceiling fan will be Hansen Wholesale Ceiling Fans. Because with their incredible selection and very competitive pricing, you won't have to go anywhere else.
Their selection of Ceiling Fans is the best we found anywhere and the prices for the quality they offer can't be beat. The only place you will have to go to find your next ceiling fan will be Hansen Wholesale Ceiling Fans. Because with their incredible selection and very competitive pricing, you won't have to go anywhere else.
Sitting In The Car
A policeman passes a parking lot around midnight and notices a couple in a parked car. He stops to investigate and sees a man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the backseat, quietly reading a magazine.
The officer knocks on the window and asks whats going on.
"Listening to music," the guy says.
Pointing toward the lady in the backseat, the officer asks, "And what's she doing?"
"Reading a magazine, of course."
"How old are you?" asks the officer.
"I'm 28."
"And how old is she?"
The guy looks at his watch and says, "Well in 11 minutes she'll be 18."
The officer knocks on the window and asks whats going on.
"Listening to music," the guy says.
Pointing toward the lady in the backseat, the officer asks, "And what's she doing?"
"Reading a magazine, of course."
"How old are you?" asks the officer.
"I'm 28."
"And how old is she?"
The guy looks at his watch and says, "Well in 11 minutes she'll be 18."
Help for addictions
A friend of mine has a teenager that needs to attend teen drug treatment to get help he needs. They found a California teen drug rehab for them since they live in the Los Angeles area. This teen marijuana rehab is what they need to get professional help to address his addiction and receive the counseling he needs.
This website, newport-academy.com, has teen addiction info and teen drug statistics to better understand the problem on a larger scale. So if you or someone you know is looking for California teen drug rehab, check out this website and see how they can help you.
This website, newport-academy.com, has teen addiction info and teen drug statistics to better understand the problem on a larger scale. So if you or someone you know is looking for California teen drug rehab, check out this website and see how they can help you.
Lawyer from New York
A lawyer from New York was transferred to a small frontier town during
the settlement of the West. After several weeks there he noticed that the town was populated solely by men.
He asked one of the local cowboys, "What do you do when you get the urge for a woman?"
The cowboy replied, "See them thar'sheep up on thet hill. We just go git us one."
"That is disgusting and barbaric!!" replied the lawyer.
After about 3 months the lawyer could not stand it any longer. He decided though, if he was going to do a sheep, he would show these yokels how to do it right. He picked out the prettiest sheep of the bunch, bathed her, put a pink ribbon on her, served her hay on a china plate, dressed her in fine lingerie,and then took the sheep to bed.
After he finished he decided to take his new found lover out for a drink. He wandered into the local saloon with the sheep under his arm.
The piano fell silent, people dropped drinks, and all the cowboys turned, and stared in shocked disbelief.
The lawyer said, "You bunch of hypocrites. You look at me as if I'm some sort of freak for doing what you've been doing all along. I'm just doing it with more class."
"That ain't the problem," replied one cowboy. "That's the sheriff's gal you're with."
the settlement of the West. After several weeks there he noticed that the town was populated solely by men.
He asked one of the local cowboys, "What do you do when you get the urge for a woman?"
The cowboy replied, "See them thar'sheep up on thet hill. We just go git us one."
"That is disgusting and barbaric!!" replied the lawyer.
After about 3 months the lawyer could not stand it any longer. He decided though, if he was going to do a sheep, he would show these yokels how to do it right. He picked out the prettiest sheep of the bunch, bathed her, put a pink ribbon on her, served her hay on a china plate, dressed her in fine lingerie,and then took the sheep to bed.
After he finished he decided to take his new found lover out for a drink. He wandered into the local saloon with the sheep under his arm.
The piano fell silent, people dropped drinks, and all the cowboys turned, and stared in shocked disbelief.
The lawyer said, "You bunch of hypocrites. You look at me as if I'm some sort of freak for doing what you've been doing all along. I'm just doing it with more class."
"That ain't the problem," replied one cowboy. "That's the sheriff's gal you're with."
Monday, July 12, 2010
Los Angeles auto repair
One of my hubby's friends lives in LA. He is originally from Denver and just moved to Los Angeles last month. Since my hubby lives in LA for a long time, he ask him if he knows a good place where he can get help with his Ford Explorer. His having a problem with his head gasket. Right now his looking for the nearest Los Angeles auto repair.
While I was browsing on the internet, I found this website called repairpal.com. Their repair man are well trained to diagnose and resolve any issue that you experience from a basic oil change to more complicated auto repairs. So, check this out and you’ll be happy you did.
While I was browsing on the internet, I found this website called repairpal.com. Their repair man are well trained to diagnose and resolve any issue that you experience from a basic oil change to more complicated auto repairs. So, check this out and you’ll be happy you did.
What is it Called?
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for awhile when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is it called when 2 people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds! And Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you right now."
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds! And Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you right now."
A North Carolinian in Connecticut
Guest post written by Susan Ross
When I moved to Connecticut from North Carolina I looked forward to the cooler summers. I even purchased a house without central air, which really shocked my family because I’m so hot natured and am a tried and true believer in air conditioning.
But this heat wave has made me reconsider my decision considering A/C, which seems pretty reckless and unwise now. So once I heard news that the heat wave was going to break into the triple digits, I started looking online for some help to install some central air in our traditional Cape Cod style house.I researched what exactly HVAC service from SEARS would entail so that it wouldn’t compromise the structure of our house and found a service through Sears that would do it.The installer was friendly enough and he assured me that it wouldn’t ruin the structure or value of our 1940s era home.
Since then I’ve been so glad that I decided to have central air conditioning installed that I’m able to concentrate better on enjoying our new home and location in New England.
Parking Ticket
So I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a copper writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on mate, how about giving a bloke a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!!
So I called him a horse f*cker. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!!
This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't give a shit, my car was parked around the corner...
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!!
So I called him a horse f*cker. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!!
This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't give a shit, my car was parked around the corner...
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Where to go for debt solutions
Many people are falling behind on their bills due to the prolonged recession we have been in for over two years. Millions of people have lost their jobs due to no fault of their own and quickly fell into debt. I found a website called anewhorizon.org for a friend of mine that was laid off earlier this year.
They explain the reasons for debt consolidation and credit counseling for people having serious financial problems. They can help their clients find the best solution, such as debt consolidation, depending on their unique circumstances. Having the best guidance to find the best solution is key to getting out of debt and on the road to financial recovery.
They explain the reasons for debt consolidation and credit counseling for people having serious financial problems. They can help their clients find the best solution, such as debt consolidation, depending on their unique circumstances. Having the best guidance to find the best solution is key to getting out of debt and on the road to financial recovery.
The $100 Tattoo
Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?"
He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain; "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, for one; I like to watch my money grow, and two; once in a while I like to play with my money, three; I like how money feels in my hand and lastly; instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.
He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain; "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, for one; I like to watch my money grow, and two; once in a while I like to play with my money, three; I like how money feels in my hand and lastly; instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.
Where to go for help
Many people need professional help with an addiction to drugs or alcohol. I found a website called axishouse.net that covers both drug rehab and alcohol rehab for people that are considering one or the other. They have valuable information for drug treatment and alcohol treatment that was very interesting for me.
A friend of mine may need to consider this option for help and I wanted to educate myself and give her some options if she wants them. Getting professional help for someone dealing with an addiction can be the key to success for future health and road to happier times. To learn more about alcohol treatment center, check out this website and see how they can help you.
A friend of mine may need to consider this option for help and I wanted to educate myself and give her some options if she wants them. Getting professional help for someone dealing with an addiction can be the key to success for future health and road to happier times. To learn more about alcohol treatment center, check out this website and see how they can help you.
Recovery Room
A gentleman was just out of surgery for a appendicitus. His wife sat calmly beside him holding his hand while she waited for him to wake up. A few minutes later she looked over and his eyes were fluttering. He opened them, looked directly at her and said "Hi Beautiful" and went back to sleep.
Well, a little startled and blushing, the wife wondered what he was thinking as he hadn`t said anything that sweet to her in ages. A few minutes later, his eyes opened again, and he looked over and said, "Hi ya Cutie". then proceeded to fall back to sleep.
Feeling a bit hurt with the downgrade from beautiful to cutie, the wife patiently waited. When he woke up again, she said, "Honey, why did you downgrade me from Beautiful to Cutie just a few minutes ago."
And without missing a beat, the husband looked at her and said, "The drugs are wearing off."
Well, a little startled and blushing, the wife wondered what he was thinking as he hadn`t said anything that sweet to her in ages. A few minutes later, his eyes opened again, and he looked over and said, "Hi ya Cutie". then proceeded to fall back to sleep.
Feeling a bit hurt with the downgrade from beautiful to cutie, the wife patiently waited. When he woke up again, she said, "Honey, why did you downgrade me from Beautiful to Cutie just a few minutes ago."
And without missing a beat, the husband looked at her and said, "The drugs are wearing off."
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Teaching My Son How To Use the Internet
Guest post written by Emily Gayser
My two year old loves to go online and play his favorite games. I introduced him to the internet at few weeks ago when he saw a commercial on his favorite television channel. I sat him on my lap and showed him how to use the mouse and play the games. He felt like he was a big boy playing the games all by himself. Not only are these games on satellite internet miami educational, but they are a fun way to keep my son busy. I let him use hughesnet internet every day after he watches his favorite show. He goes on the website, plays his favorite games, and prints out coloring pages. I am hoping that these websites will help his imagination grow and educate him. He isn't able to use the keyboard yet, since he does not know his letters, but I am hoping that it will help him learn his alphabet and be able to type at a young age. Now a days it is very important for children to learn how to use the computer at a young age, as it is becoming a necessity in life.
Sitting In The Car
A policeman passes a parking lot around midnight and notices a couple in a parked car. He stops to investigate and sees a man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the backseat, quietly reading a magazine.
The officer knocks on the window and asks whats going on.
"Listening to music," the guy says.
Pointing toward the lady in the backseat, the officer asks, "And what's she doing?"
"Reading a magazine, of course."
"How old are you?" asks the officer.
"I'm 28."
"And how old is she?"
The guy looks at his watch and says, "Well in 11 minutes she'll be 18."
The officer knocks on the window and asks whats going on.
"Listening to music," the guy says.
Pointing toward the lady in the backseat, the officer asks, "And what's she doing?"
"Reading a magazine, of course."
"How old are you?" asks the officer.
"I'm 28."
"And how old is she?"
The guy looks at his watch and says, "Well in 11 minutes she'll be 18."
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Chiropractic marketing
Many types of medical professionals need help and support with the challenges they deal with on a daily basis. I found a great website for Chiropractic marketing that will help Chiropractors fine tune their business development efforts. The website is called coachingforchiropractors.com and can help any chiropractor that visits their site with helpful and valuable information.
The Princess Frog
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on.
Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"
"I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.... But a talking frog is pretty neat."
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on.
Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"
"I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.... But a talking frog is pretty neat."
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Window boxes
Are you or someone you know is looking to buy window boxes? Then visit this website called windowboxplanters.com. They offer a great variety of window boxes to choose from. Their selection includes window boxes planters, garden window boxes, window flower boxes and window plant boxes.
All of their high quality Window Plant Boxes and window boxes planters comes in many different styles and colors. They can add the needed final touch to an already flourishing yard garden. Whether you have years of experience in gardening or have never grown a flower in your life, the perfect window box can be perfectly tailored to your needs.
All of their high quality Window Plant Boxes and window boxes planters comes in many different styles and colors. They can add the needed final touch to an already flourishing yard garden. Whether you have years of experience in gardening or have never grown a flower in your life, the perfect window box can be perfectly tailored to your needs.
Ordaining Priests
Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy and beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction.
He proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest (Carlos). As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground.
Embarrassed, Carlos took a few steps forward, and bent over to pick it up.
Then, all the other bells started to ring.
He proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest (Carlos). As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground.
Embarrassed, Carlos took a few steps forward, and bent over to pick it up.
Then, all the other bells started to ring.
Looking for drivers?
My hubby has a friend that owns a trucking company and is having a hard time finding experienced and qualified truck drivers. So, I did some searching on the internet and found a website called mtsdm.com. This website specializes as a driver recruiter for other companies that need drivers to drive their trucks. Their experience and knowledge of the trucking industry allows them to recruit drivers for other companies at a much lower cost than what the companies would pay to do their own recruiting. My hubby said his friend was very impressed after he visited this website and contacted them about recruiting drivers for his company.
Two Men in a LifeBoat
Two men were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp.
Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, one did come forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" Immediately the Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the Genie vanished to his freedom. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked disgustedly at the one whose wish had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, one did come forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" Immediately the Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the Genie vanished to his freedom. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked disgustedly at the one whose wish had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
Friday, July 2, 2010
Scrubs
A friend of mine works in the hospital as a nurse. She’s planning to buy a couple of nursing scrubs because the one she has now is not looking good anymore. She so busy that it's hard for her to go to the mall and shop. While I was browsing on the internet, I found this website called blueskyscrubs.com.
They have a wide selection of scrubs to choose from such as medical scrubs and nursing scrubs. They offer very competitive prices for great quality products. I can’t wait to tell my friend about this website. So if you or someone you know is looking to buy any medical scrub products, check out this website and see their great selection to choose from.
They have a wide selection of scrubs to choose from such as medical scrubs and nursing scrubs. They offer very competitive prices for great quality products. I can’t wait to tell my friend about this website. So if you or someone you know is looking to buy any medical scrub products, check out this website and see their great selection to choose from.
Accepting The Commandments
God offered his tablet of commandments to the world. He first approached the Italians. "What commandments do you offer?" they said. He answered, "Thou shalt not murder." They answered "Sorry, we are not interested."
Next he offered it to the Romanians. "What commandments do you offer?" they said. He answered, "Thou shalt not steal." They answered, "Sorry, we are not interested."
Next he offered them to the French. "What commandments do you offer?" they asked. "Thou shalt not covet they neighbors wife." "Sorry we are not interested," they answered.
Finally he approached the Jews. "How much?" they asked. "It's free," he answered. "We'll take ten!"
Next he offered it to the Romanians. "What commandments do you offer?" they said. He answered, "Thou shalt not steal." They answered, "Sorry, we are not interested."
Next he offered them to the French. "What commandments do you offer?" they asked. "Thou shalt not covet they neighbors wife." "Sorry we are not interested," they answered.
Finally he approached the Jews. "How much?" they asked. "It's free," he answered. "We'll take ten!"
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Modern furniture
My hubby and I are planning to replace our living room furniture. We’ve been to several stores already but we couldn’t found what we wanted. While I was browsing on the internet, I found this website called conceptfurniture.net. They have a wide variety of modern furniture to choose from. Their selection includes bedroom furniture, children bedrooms, living room furniture, TV stands, fine dining room furniture, closets and a lot more.
They offer very competitive prices for great quality products. When I visited their site, I was so impressed with their selection of modern furniture. So if you or someone you know is looking to buy furniture, check out this website and you’ll be happy you did.
They offer very competitive prices for great quality products. When I visited their site, I was so impressed with their selection of modern furniture. So if you or someone you know is looking to buy furniture, check out this website and you’ll be happy you did.
College Rules
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"
Protect your identity
We have had several friends and relatives that have had people use their personal information for illegal purchases. This can be a very costly, time consuming and stressful situation to deal with if it would happen to us. There were several creditors on their credit report that was totally inaccurate and shocking for them to see. After they did time consuming investigative work on their own, they figured out that someone used their names and credit information to fraudulently apply for loans and order many items online. So, we visited a website called lifelockpromotioncode.net where we found the protection we needed. This caused a long and costly effort to try and fix these inaccuracies that put their home purchase on hold indefinitely. On the LifeLock.com website, we read a LifeLock Review that explained how things worked. We also found a LifeLock Partner Code there too. The best way we found to protect our personal information was to order their service. We got the best protection out there that is provided by LifeLock, who is a leader in credit fraud protection. Anyone that has any concern like we did should visit this website to learn more and get the protection they need.
An Aniversary
Husband and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids,all very successful, all agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad" gushed son number one, a surgeon, "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn't have time to get you a gift."
"Not to worry" said the father, the important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two, a lawyer, arrived and announced "You and Mom look great Dad". I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you".
"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."
Just then the daughter,a marketing executive, arrived. "Hello and Happy Anniversary! I'm sorry but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing, so I didn't have time to get you anything."
After they finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"
"Yep," said the father, "and cheap ones too!"
"Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad" gushed son number one, a surgeon, "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn't have time to get you a gift."
"Not to worry" said the father, the important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two, a lawyer, arrived and announced "You and Mom look great Dad". I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you".
"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."
Just then the daughter,a marketing executive, arrived. "Hello and Happy Anniversary! I'm sorry but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing, so I didn't have time to get you anything."
After they finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"
"Yep," said the father, "and cheap ones too!"
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